Key takeaways: Partners can do everything except breastfeed: skin-to-skin, diapers, burping, soothing, bottles, and protecting sleep. Watch for warning signs in the birthing parent. Partners can experience depression and anxiety too; about 1 in 10 fathers do.
The postpartum period isn’t just about the birthing parent and baby. Partners, whether fathers, mothers, or other co-parents, play a critical role, and they need support too.
Ways to Support Your Baby
- Skin-to-skin contact: it calms babies and helps you bond.
- Diaper changes, baths, and dressing.
- Burping and soothing: rocking, walking, swaddling, singing.
- Bottle feeds if your baby gets expressed milk or formula.
- Bring the baby to the breast for night feeds, then burp and resettle.
- Learn safe sleep and make sure your baby always sleeps on their back in a bare crib.
- Car seat installation and checks.
Ways to Support the Birthing Parent
- Protect sleep: take a night shift or early morning shift so the birthing parent can get a block of 4 to 5 hours.
- Bring water and snacks during feeds.
- Handle household tasks: meals, laundry, dishes, errands, and older siblings.
- Manage visitors and protect rest.
- Encourage breastfeeding if that’s the goal, and help find lactation support.
- Listen without trying to fix everything.
- Attend appointments when possible.
Know the Warning Signs
Partners are often the first to notice when something is wrong. Call 911 or the provider for postpartum warning signs, including:
- Heavy bleeding, chest pain, trouble breathing, severe headache, vision changes, or a swollen leg.
- Signs of depression, anxiety, or psychosis: persistent sadness, withdrawal, confusion, seeing or hearing things, or talk of self-harm.
Partners’ Mental Health
Non-birthing parents can experience depression and anxiety too. Research suggests about 1 in 10 fathers experience depression in the year after a baby’s birth, and the risk is higher when the birthing parent is also depressed.
Signs in partners may look different:
- Irritability, anger, or frustration.
- Withdrawal from family or friends.
- Working longer hours.
- Increased alcohol or substance use.
- Physical symptoms like headaches or stomach problems.
- Feeling overwhelmed, numb, or detached.
Getting help:
- Talk with your own provider.
- The National Maternal Mental Health Hotline (1-833-TLC-MAMA) supports partners and family members too.
- Postpartum Support International offers resources and support groups for dads and partners.
- Call or text 988 in a crisis.
Bonding Takes Time
Some partners feel an immediate bond; for others, it grows over weeks or months. Hands-on care, talking, singing, reading, and play all help.
Paternity and Family Leave
If available, taking leave in the early weeks benefits the whole family. Check your employer’s policies and state laws.
Team Strategies
- Divide tasks clearly, including the “invisible” mental work.
- Check in with each other daily.
- Ask for help from family and friends.
- Be patient with each other.
The Bottom Line
Partners matter enormously in the postpartum period. Support your baby and the birthing parent, know the warning signs, and take care of your own mental health too.
For a complete guide to the first year for the whole family, see From First Breath to First Birthday.
Sources
- Paulson JF, Bazemore SD. Prenatal and postpartum depression in fathers and its association with maternal depression: a meta-analysis. JAMA. 2010;303(19):1961-1969.
- Yogman M, Garfield CF; Committee on Psychosocial Aspects of Child and Family Health. Fathers’ roles in the care and development of their children: the role of pediatricians. Pediatrics. 2016;138(1):e20161128.
- Postpartum Support International. Support for dads and partners. https://www.postpartum.net
- Health Resources and Services Administration. National Maternal Mental Health Hotline. https://mchb.hrsa.gov/national-maternal-mental-health-hotline
- Association of Women’s Health, Obstetric and Neonatal Nurses (AWHONN). POST-BIRTH Warning Signs education program. https://www.awhonn.org
This article is for general education and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice. Always talk with your baby’s health care provider or your own provider about your specific situation. If you think your baby or you may have a medical emergency, call 911.
