Key takeaways: Breastfeeding aversion is an intense negative feeling, such as agitation, anger, or skin-crawling, that some people feel while nursing. It’s more often reported during pregnancy, tandem nursing, with an older nursing child, or with a returning period. Research is limited. Rest, nutrition, distraction, and setting limits can help, and it’s okay to wean.
Some parents feel a sudden urge to unlatch their child, or feel angry or uncomfortable during feeds. If this happens to you, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean you love your child less.
What It Feels Like
- Agitation, irritability, or anger.
- Skin-crawling or itchy feelings.
- A strong urge to stop the feed.
- Feelings of guilt or shame afterward.
Feelings usually happen only during the feed and fade afterward.
When It’s More Common
Research is limited, but aversion is often reported:
- During pregnancy.
- When tandem nursing.
- When nursing an older baby or toddler.
- Around the time of a period or ovulation.
- With sleep deprivation, hunger, or stress.
- With nipple pain.
From the author
From First Breath to First Birthday is my month-by-month guide to your baby’s first year, written as a NICU and postpartum nurse. If you want feeding help you can flip to in the middle of the night, my book walks you through feeding month by month, from the very first latch to the first birthday.
Possible Causes
The causes aren’t well understood. Hormones, sleep loss, nutrition, and feeling “touched out” have all been suggested. Some researchers have explored links with past trauma.
Coping Strategies
- Eat and drink before feeds.
- Rest as much as possible.
- Distract yourself: read, watch something, or listen to music.
- Breathe slowly through the feed.
- Shorten feeds or count to a set number, then unlatch.
- Set limits with older children, such as nursing only at certain times.
- Check for pain from latch issues or thrush.
- Consider partial or full weaning if feelings are overwhelming. This is a valid choice.
How It’s Different From D-MER
D-MER causes a brief wave of sadness or dread right before letdown, lasting seconds to minutes. Aversion tends to include anger or agitation and last for much of the feed.
When to Get Help
If you have ongoing low mood, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts, or if aversion is affecting your well-being or bond, talk to your doctor. An IBCLC can also help with nursing strategies.
The Bottom Line
Breastfeeding aversion is real, more common than many people realize, and not your fault. Self-care, distraction, limits, and support can help, and weaning is always an option.
Want more support for your baby’s first year? My book, From First Breath to First Birthday, is available on Amazon.
Related Articles
- D-MER: Sudden Sad Feelings During Letdown
- Baby Blues or Postpartum Depression? How to Tell the Difference
Sources
- Morns MA, Steel AE, Burns E, McIntyre E. Women who experience feelings of aversion while breastfeeding: a meta-ethnographic review. Women Birth. 2021;34(2):128-135.
- Yate ZM. A qualitative study on maternal experiences of aversion while breastfeeding. J Hum Lact. 2017;33(1):144-151.
- La Leche League International. Breastfeeding aversion and agitation. https://www.llli.org
This article is for general education and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice. Always talk with your baby’s health care provider or your own provider about your specific situation. If you think your baby or you may have a medical emergency, call 911.
